I've been feeling miserable...

My eyes have been hurting, and I probably have a migraine. And you've guessed it - I haven't had any progress in my learning journey, today. Ironically enough, I'm still going ahead with writing my weekly blog today. And although I initially planned on sharing all the fun things I've learned in React this week, I just cannot pull all of my shit together for all that today.

I love coding... all the challenges that come with it, and how it provokes my ever-longing love to problem solve.

But...

It's been so hard, lately.

You know how people sometimes say, "You are your worst enemy" -? They're right.

Nobody ever talks about the unrealistic expectations self-taught developers start out with, for themselves that stem from all the "I became a full-stack developer within a month of learning to code" videos. The feeling of incompetency at every step of the journey, and how time-consuming it is.

Tech is such an interesting industry, that you'll want to try everything in one go, and that can get so insanely overwhelming. You'll have so many project ideas while making mental time maps of how long it'll take to solve them all, and then you'll fall into the loophole of binge-watching all of fireship.io's 100-sec videos, and all of a sudden there are at least, 10 new languages you'll want to add to your stack but not enough time to do it all.

You'll think you've finally got the hang of things, and then boom, you run into a bug while deploying and start questioning your own sanity.

Is this me giving up?

Awh, hell nah.

With all the pain that it does inflict on me, on a daily - I still love it. An oddly sadistic relationship, I know. And like most people in a toxic relationship, I refuse to break the cycle with my beloved.

Okay, this has turned into an insanely weird analogy...

For those of you who did stick through the entire article, literally why-? but also, thank you. Blogging is fun, but also kinda makes me feel really stupid - but it's fun to do things that make you feel stupid, sometimes (e.g coding LMAO).

I hope reading about my misery was at least fun to one of you sick coders out there but I'll be ending it short here.

Adios!